Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) is a Twelve Step and Twelve Tradition oriented recovery fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.
One of the resources we draw on is our willingness to stop acting out in our own personal bottom line addictive behavior on a daily basis. In addition, members reach out to others in the fellowship, practice the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of S.L.A.A. and seek a relationship with a higher power to counter the destructive consequences of one or more addictive behaviors related to sex addiction, love addiction, dependency on romantic attachments, emotional dependency, and sexual, social and emotional anorexia.
We find a common denominator in our obsessive, compulsive patterns which renders any personal differences of sexual orientation or gender identity irrelevant.
We encourage you to start here for a self-analysis of your current situation.
A Note on Sex Addiction vs Love Addiction as it Relates to Gender
It is very common in our fellowship for newcomers to see love addiction as “less serious,” or perhaps something that only women struggle with. It can be thought that sex addiction mainly afflicts men and love addition mainly affects women, but we have not found this to be true for us.
In reality, sex addiction, love addiction, sexual/emotional anorexia, or often a combination of these can be uncovered during our exploration of our destructive behaviors. At the core of our experience, whatever form our addiction takes, we have found it to be cunning, baffling, and powerful - no matter one’s gender or how our addiction is expressed.
The nature of our addiction lies in isolation, disconnection, and shame. How it expresses itself (what we call Bottom Lines) varies widely from person to person. It may be tempting to dismiss love addiction, anorexia, or obsession as “less risky” behaviors because they may not directly hurt others. The truth is that addictive and compulsive behaviors hurt others and ourselves in ways we could not see when we first entered recovery. As we untangle the experience of our addiction or anorexia, it becomes clear how these behaviors are no less damaging, and how important it is to address these in our healing journey of recovery.
We speak of many topics in SLAA meetings, including sexual addiction, compulsive masturbation, fantasy, obsession, sexual and emotional anorexia, prostitution, compulsive dating behaviors, lack of boundaries, and pornography. Our group conscience encourages us to build and reinforce sexual and emotional sobriety, as each individual comes to define that for themselves.
As we experience more recovery, we have become more at ease in the trusted company of others with whom we have so much in common. In time, many of us find that sharing our shame and frustration is freeing, and we are given a gift by being surrounded with others who understand and do not judge us. We establish healthy emotional intimacy with others in this program as we learn and grow from the Twelve Step model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.